My husband gets home tonight after being away for six weeks (more like five and half, but can you blame me for rounding up?). I wrote about my first go at solo parenting when he was away earlier this year and I'm here for a new installment, ya'll. Because twice as long means my toddler has been twice as crazy, I've been twice as tired, coffee is free flowing and I've traded in wine for liquor. Also, I feel it's important to document that I survived this.
This go around I've realized my sanity is directly tied to how I spend my time. Whether that be time away from my offspring, time with my babe that fills both our love buckets, or time spent with other people. It's all important and needed. Because bless it, I can't be supermom every minute of every day. Like a clean house just hasn't been possible every time I've had people enter my home (don't mind the smell) and my meals haven't exactly been something you'd want to order off a menu (boxed mac and cheese, anyone?).
It has definitely helped my attitude this time around to embrace the 'survival mode' instead of running around frazzled as I try to keep it all together. Letting people in on my mess has been freeing to say the least. The fact that my child was literally sick 75% of the time my dear hubs has been gone, may have helped force me into that frame of mind, but small details, people. What's definitely an important detail is that of relying on my community. YA'LL. If you don't have a community of people who operate like a family - keep toiling until you find it. The ways in which I've been cared and looked out for blows.my.mind. In all honesty I'd probably be rocking the fetal position most days if it weren't for our community surrounding us the way in which they do.
But before I give you too much of an idea of how close I teeter on the edge of insanity most days, here is my fail proof list of ways to not go insane when you find yourself getting close.
# Take scalding hot baths, preferably with a few drops of lavender oil, cause you know, it's calming. This will help you sweat out the crazy feels or maybe just make you extra thirsty, in which case my next item on the agenda is perfect.
# Fridge well stocked with "happy liquids" - I currently have bottles of iced espresso, tequila, chocolate almond milk, and wine filling my fridge - making it hard to fill with food, but whatevs.
# Make a habit of late night dance parties in the kitchen. I put on my big noise silencing headphones, grab a glass of the previously mentioned drinks and dance out all the day's stress. This is also a fantastic way to discover what stage of life you are in when you wake up sore and achy from simply dancing. By yourself.
# Taking people up on their offers to help. People usually don't offer help unless they mean they are truly willing to give it. And if you find they don't mean it, obviously make a mental note to never trust them again, ha.
# Speaking of help - drop that kid off, yo. Call someone, promise them a Starbucks or a kid swap the next week if you have to - but get yourself some alone time. Go grocery shopping and experience not having to pick things up off the floor like you did in that previous life of yours.
# Don't make dinner on Mondays. I found that making dinner after one of the harder days of the week is something I have no interest in. So I did something about it. We have grabbed a bowl of pasta from Fazoli's almost every week to share over a movie and it's been grand. No cooking. No dishes. No worries.
# Hang out with your fraaaands. With and without your kid. I know, I know, so much work - finding a sitter for a night out or keeping your child happy while you hang. Both are work. But girlfriend. Hanging with people you can have an actual back and forth conversation with is worth the work. Get to it.
# Be ok with the tv being on a little more. Ya'll we have watched every season of Daniel Tiger and Doc McStuffins this month and I ain't even mad about it. It gives me an opportunity to either cuddle with my babe, get things around the house done, or take a moment to zone out too. Either way - it's a winner.
So there you have it, I think I just listed ways to be a mediocre mom. Lovely.
So what are your tricks of the solo parenting trade?
What do you do to keep sane?
On an unrelated note - what's your favorite homemade cocktail?