For the past four years I've written an incredibly sappy post for the blog, to share with my readers on our anniversary. Because obviously those are the only kind of relationship posts worth reading, amiright? Ha.
This year, though being married to my man is hella fun, this past year has also been insanely hard, keeping 'sappy' from really being my scene. I'm always hesitant to admit that, because people be judgy and I just can't deal with that kind of negativity.
But you know what, I think the world would be a little better off - particularly the Christian world if we were a little more open and honest about marriage not being the picture perfect image we are always trying so hard to portray. I mean ya it's beautiful and awesome and all kinds of fun - but since marriage was kind of designed for God's glory, it's gonna help shape you more into more of the person He created you to be. This means it's gonna be a bumpy ride at times because it's gonna take some serious work. Why are we afraid to share that with people? How isolating does it make others feel when their marriage seems far from the image everyone is posting on social media? Pssshhh, so over that.
So ya, I'm saying it - this year hasn't really been the prettiest. The juggling act of being parents to a rambunctious toddler and squeezing in time for just the two of us and the fact that healthy communication takes consistent effort and we had been sweeping things under the rug for a.very.long.time. and the fact that we're both very flawed human beings. Golly. In the very relate-able words of my pal Jen Hatmaker "All due respect to the Resurrection, but two-becoming-one might be the greatest miracle ever." And for reals, ya'll. It takes work to stay married and have the marriage not only survive, but thrive. It takes some serious laying down of pride each day - something we're only beginning to experience because I mean, 6 years is pretty small compared to like the 60+ years we're hoping for. We were incredibly blessed that the first couple years of marriage were pure bliss and honestly just so easy, but thinking we could just stay there without work after an overseas deployment and adding a child into our little world was some kind of batcrap crazy.
However, that's not to say that this year wasn't good. It was truly hard, but it's also been one of the best - it's helped show us how much we truly love each other. Making an effort to date each other as regularly as we are able and to have a life outside of our kid and even each other has honestly been game changing. Getting down and doing the dirty work and not being afraid of saying the hard things to one another - well I would highly recommend it. Surrounding yourself with friends who remind you of the grace God gave you so that you can give that kind of grace to your spouse each day, well goodness, what else do you need in life, really? It's been a lot of work and we have work yet to do but that's ok, better than ok, it's awesome - because the best kind of relationships are worth fighting for, they are worth the work.
Though this past year wasn't as sparkly and doe eyed as some in the past, I can honestly say I'm incredibly thankful for it. It's helped shaped the way I not only view my husband, but other people and the world around me with a lot more grace and hopefully closer to what God intended.
Being sappy has it's wonderful, romantic, mushy place but I think sharing the other, less rosy side of relationships is powerful too. It shows that love is a daily, active choice and not just a feeling. That you don't have to toss in the towel when things get rough and the butterflies are nowhere to be found - you can choose to give grace, you can choose to love. What a powerful thing, ya'll.
Anyhoo, in case you were really hoping for a dose of sap on this Valentines weekend, here are our previous anniversary posts, eat your hearts out!
Two Years, Three Years, Four Years, Five Years
Cheers to learning and loving more deeply in year #7!
Whoa. Can not even handle that we've been married that long. I mean, I'm still like 22 years old right?