Mommy Whiplash

Parenthood is so strange. 
Sometimes you love it with all your heart. 
Sometimes you want to hide in your room and never come out.

Monday I experienced the latter sort of day.
Belle woke up - tears a runnin'. Cried through morning happenings. Fussed during breakfast. Wailed through our playtime. Snuggles didn't work. Nursing was not what she wanted. Nothing would make her happy. Lunchtime came and went and she was still experiencing the same emotions and I was hiding in my bedroom with the lights off eating a hunk of cinnamon bread and hoping she'd search the whole house before finding me. I was sitting there thinking good grief who is this crazy baby roaming my house and where is my sweet girl? I was also laughing at myself for ever thinking "I want a house full of kids - maybe five or six". At that moment I was wondering if just one kid was going to break me in a matter of hours. During her naptime I sat completely still on the couch for 2 hours because I was terrified I might wake the sleeping dragon. The evening played out much like the morning did. I was completely exhausted - in every possible way - come bedtime. I had made up my mind that one baby could be quite enough for a lifetime.

Tuesday was a day that inspired the complete opposite emotions. The day began with snuggles and giggles and big cheesy grins. Breakfast was a laughter filled affair. We played & snuggled, and made our morning playdate on time. We managed to get through our walk and playtime with all smiles. Lunchtime went off without a hitch. Instead of hiding in my room, we rolled around in the window-light on the bed together and shared cheerios and pretzel bits. It was a beautifully wonderful day! With every snuggle and block she passed to me while we built a tower, I kept thinking... hmmm, maybe we can try for another baby by the end of the year (don't anyone get your hopes up on this though *coughmomcough*), I could do this all day! Even after naptime she was golden. We had dinner with friends and she was her angel baby self. Bedtime was even easier than usual. My heart couldn't have been happier at the end of the day.

It's a bit of emotional whiplash on this end. 
To go from feeling so spent to so full in 24 hours.
Parenthood is hard.
Parenthood is also so sweet.


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