Soul State

Never have I been reminded of how introverted to the core I am until this past week.
I absolutely adore relationships and friendships and hanging out and staying out late and coffee dates, but goodness gracious a girl just needs to be alone sometimes ya know? Haha...

God's completely blown me away with the community and support and AMAZING new and old friendships since my husband got shipped out. They always have my back and are always willing to hug me and love me and listen to me cry [even if they themselves are thousands of miles away]. I tend to get so wrapped up in doing everything with other people that I forget to give myself time alone to think and breathe. I don't set enough time aside to be still in God's presence... to read the word and pray and actually study things out the way I need to. I fail miserably at that everyday of my life but especially when I let life get so busy I don't have a single moment in the week when I'm home for more than a couple hours before it's time to get in bed.

complete & utter peace
It starts showing in my relationships as well as my work when I don't let Jesus just soak through me. I get insecure and judgy. I get more snappy than calming. I get even more quiet because I haven't let myself reflect enough. I get more annoyed at little things that shouldn't matter. I let other people dictate my attitude despite how undeserving they are to do so. I lose my focus because I've pushed the One who my it should be on daily into the corner of my mind.

So here's to getting better at just resting and not just resting and doing nothing, but being still in giving my heart over and over again to my Savior. Letting the Word fill my mind rather than other things. Laying down my pride and anger on the daily - for humbleness and joy. My heart needs to do that alone.... whether in my newly decorated bedroom or at sunset in a park. I have to be away from all the drama of everyday life to be able to walk out of it when faced with it.

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