2 sides to the coin

Dude. I'm such a woman [no offense to those of you women who don't want to admit that we as women are often emotional basketcases. haha.]. i keep going from moods of pure and utter excitement to bouts of bummed out sadness.....

I guess it's only fair to explain both moods, since i brought it up, huh? ya. i suppose.
We'll start with the bummer mood, so that we can hopefully end on a high point by the end....

After a lot of prayer and consideration, I resigned from my position at Cottage Cove and my time there will be over starting mid September.... man. i didn't think that would be so difficult to type... but there it is. It's been really hard telling even the few people i've told. I feel like people will look down on me because i'm leaving a ministry position. I know i shouldn't fear man's opinion of me.... but it's something i've struggled with since i was a kid. I do take comfort and find peace in the fact that i know God is behind me and this is what i feel He is leading me to do, so that we can start putting more money towards starting a family sometime soon [don't get too excited... it'll still be a number of years to prepare ourselves and be ready for such task]..... but it's still hard not worrying about other people's opinions of this decision...
ANYway... besides all that...I'm so sad i won't be able to be with "MY" kids everyday... so so so sad. I'll still be volunteering regularly... probably 2 or 3 times a week i would imagine. haha... but bummed i won't have the everyday connection i have with them now.
sigh... ok. i'm done with this for now... if you have any questions/positive comments - feel free :) but if you want to rag on me, please refrain... this was a tough enough decision without having to deal with your petty comments.

this is me at the Dead Sea... and this is exactly how i feel right now... waiting for God's direction...

The excitement/happiness of my heart lies in the fact that even though change scares the begeebers [yes...begeebers] out of me at first.... i'm always anxious and pumped to experience whatever may come from it. Lately so many ideas and plans and thoughts and hopes have been coming to mind, i can't help but think God's about to open doors for some of them to happen.With my new job starting up at the end of September [cleaning homes btw] i'll have some extra hours in the evening [i'm actually SUPER excited about this lil perk]... within those extra hours i will have time to do the daily tasks that need to be done and also have time to CREATE. I'm going to make more time to practice my photography skills [i'm doing a shoot sometime in the next week or two!!!] and start spending time making things... what sort of things, i'm not sure.... but i think i want to have my own online store or something - like the etsy sort of thing.... still praying and thinking about what direction to take with that idea. We'll see where God leads. I guess i've just been thinking a lot about the future lately.... my future kids and how i want to be able to stay at home with them and what would need to happen in order for that to work. So i've been racking my brain for ways to become my own boss again... so i can be the manager of my own schedule, make a decent amount of the 'mons' and have more flexibility and time on my hands to do the things God has placed the desires in my heart to do :)
I'm pretty excited about the possibilities :)

AnyHOO.... hopefully my writer's block will go away now... anytime i have something big going on in my heart that i haven't shared in an aspect of my life... it's hard to push through and share anything else in that aspect of life... so now that my blog world knows this part of my life, i can continue sharing about other things.
Maybe that sounds ridiculous. Does it? haha... oh well. i don't care - that's just the way i'm wired i suppose.


1 comment:

  1. Good for you!
    You're awesome!
    You're gonna do great!
    I love you!
    :)

    ReplyDelete

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