i bought diapers tonight

I bought some diapers tonight...

For those of you that don't know, i live in a low income neighborhood... and my house is two blocks from the ghetto (sometimes a little frightening). There are people constantly just sitting on bus benches, walking to and from grocery stores instead of driving and on a very regular basis you'll have a few roaming around parking lots asking for money.



So when i was approached tonight in the market parking lot by a woman asking for money... it almost didn't phase me... until i heard what she was asking for.

Diapers.

I'm used to the plea for gas money or food... those are the ones that are most commonly asked for in these situations. I've never been asked for diaper money though. I couldn't just brush this one off. I looked at her young but terribly aged face and told her i might have some change in my car. So I got into my purse and grabbed a handful of change to place in her rough, dry hands. She thanked me, smiled and then turned away to flag down the next person.
I finished loading my groceries and put my cart away, all the while feeling a tugging in my heart that 'i could go in and buy her some diapers', 'they can't be that expensive... it wouldn't take that long', then i would argue with the fact that we've been trying to save as much as possible and telling myself that she probably doesn't really need diapers anyway - it's just the typical scam.

As I was getting down in the seat of my car i knew it would be going against God if i were to just drive away... so as i watched this poor woman get rejected by a seemingly well off couple, i got out and called her over. She then reluctantly but gratefully accepted my offer to just go in and pick out some diapers.
We talked the whole way through the store. Her name is Maria and she lives about three blocks from my house. She told me about her 8 month old boy and how the relative she is living with just up and left with only a days notice, taking her only running vehicle - forcing her to use the little money she had for other things.

So i bought her some diapers.... nothing big, but i sure hope it helped her out.
As i was getting into my car and driving away though.... i couldn't help thinking - what if she doesn't know Jesus! I could've told her about lasting hope - something that would last longer than a package of diapers!I could've invited her to church, where there are plenty of people who would lovingly and willingly help her always have diapers on hand! But instead i tried to make things better with diapers.

It's been bothering me all night...
Why didn't i just open my mouth and tell her about Jesus?

Should it really be that hard to bring up in daily conversation with a stranger - or even with our friends who we know don't have the Lord? I've never really known how to do it - is there a certain way to do it without coming across holier-than-thou? or like you're trying to awkwardly change the subject? i mean... how do you do it? I can talk Jesus all day around people i know, know Jesus.... but place me around someone i know doesn't have him in their life and i'm completely clueless how to handle myself... i start fiddling with my hands and possibly getting a little sweaty. I get so concerned with the fact that i don't want to be 'that Christian' that keeps people from knowing the Lord because they turn people off to the idea that i simply become one of 'those Christians' that keeps people from hearing about the Lord because i won't open my mouth.

It's terribly frustrating....

I don't want to be that person who does good things for people, but leaves Jesus' name out of it... because what good is it then?

2 comments:

  1. Your actions are what said Jesus. Jesus didn't tell the woman at the well about spiritual things first, He gave her water and met her physical needs first. Just the fact that you spent a few minutes with her and bought her something she desperately needed is how Jesus shined through you!! We don't always have to open our mouths to spread the love of Jesus. :) I am sure that the Lord used you that night--your love of God radiates from you! :) Love you and love reading your blog!

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